


After The Heart

by LettersToShakespear



Series: Where is Your Fae Tonight? [2]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: M/M, Sexual Content, Sidhe, Update as I go, fae
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-08
Updated: 2014-03-18
Packaged: 2018-01-11 15:56:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1174962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LettersToShakespear/pseuds/LettersToShakespear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Story Abandoned</p><p>These are prompts and snippets that I have been given from others about the Sidhe of My Heart verse. They're random and won't be in any particular order. I hope you enjoy! :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. All Work No Play

**Author's Note:**

> This prompt was filled for: phoebe-artemis
> 
> For your Fae-verse, an overworked Fili and Kili taking a break from their duties and having a romantic evening?

 

* * *

 

It had been one long, arduous week from hell, problem after problem rising up from the Court in some form or another. First it had been Merry and Pippin getting into a bit of a squabble with some of the fae from the Winter Court. After that it was Kelan and Legolas fighting with the Dark Court, antagonizing Azog which invariably led to the wrath of Smaug coming down upon them. One furious Dark King later and multiple gritted, carefully spoken conversations later, and Fili and Kili were done.

 

            It didn’t help that Fili himself had become furious with his two advisors for acting like impish little urchins picking a fight on the street; they just _had_ to draw the attention of someone of the Dark Court that actually mattered. Summer heat had licked at their bodies and it was only Kili’s murmur of his name that made Fili stop. After that, things only got worse. Balin needed Fili to go over a treaty of some form that they had with Thorin while Kili had to deal with trying to convince Eowyn to stay human. By the end of it the brunet was just about ready to murder Faramir himself.

 

            Summer King and Consort barely caught a moment to speak to one another, let alone spend some time together without having to deal with some problem or another. At night when they went to their rooms to sleep, that’s all they could even manage to do. To exhausted to speak, Kili would slip under the blankets and wait for Fili to get in, curling up around the blond and latching onto him like a little koala. He could barely keep himself awake long enough to give Fili a sweet little kiss goodnight, eyes fluttering shut and sleep claiming him before Fili could even get a word out.

 

            Lack of one another’s company was difficult, and the Court was starting to feel it. Their different duties kept them apart and they never seemed to have time for one another anymore. It was painful and it hurt, but it was something that they would just have to live with until they could figure something out so they could at least get an _hour_ to themselves. Everything seemed to be spiraling out of control, and it would only take just that little bit to make everything break to bits.

 

 

* * *

 

 

            That last straw to break the proverbial camels back comes at the end of the week whilst Fili and Kili stood upon the dais to listen to the complaints, squabbles, and suggestions of all those who wished to have an audience with the Summer King and Consort. Kili had been looking peaky at best that morning, eyes tired and red with black bags underneath. Fili had wanted the brunet to stay in bed, but Kili had refused, saying that there was too much that needed too be done.

 

            Like an idiot, Fili had conceded and agreed that Kili could come to open Court. It’s when they’re listening to a bean sidhe complaining about the pixies that everything goes down hill. Fili was maybe three feet away from Kili when he noticed the brunet starting to waver on his feet, lips parting to let out a gush of breath before he started to topple over. Fili was by his side in an instant, managing to catch him beneath the arms before his love could crash down against the hard stone floors.

 

            Worry pulls at his heart as he wraps his arms around Kili, the brunet not making any movements nor sounds.

 

            “Kili? Kili, are you all right love? Kili?”

 

            But Kili doesn’t reply, just lays limply in his arms and Fili just wants to break down because things have just been so _difficult_ and now this with Kili but he can’t allow himself to look weak in front of his Court. Compassion was one thing, having a break down was another thing entirely. And Fili is so caught up in Kili that he doesn’t notice the other fae rushing forward in worry, Balin and Kelan at the forefront as they hissed for everyone to get back, to give Kili space.  


            Fili can only bring himself to hold onto Kili tightly and he’s afraid to let go and he just wants his love, his little dove, to wake up because he hates that all of this has caused Kili to break from exhaustion.

 

            “Come on, lets bring him to the bed,” Balin murmurs, Kelan coming closer and helping to hoist both Fili and Kili up off of the floor. Kelan moves to help grab Kili but Fili will have none of it, holding his Consort bridal style against his chest. All three walk quickly out of the room, heading towards the Royal bedrooms so that Kili can be put down on the bed. Fili can still barely relax once Kili has been put down, his complexion ashen and the blond immediately sends Kelan to go and get Naula. It leaves Balin as his only advisor in the room.

 

            “You have been running yourselves ragged, Fili.”

 

            “Don’t you think I know that Balin? But what else are we supposed to do? I just.. God, I’ve been a real idiot and I should have made him stay in bed this morning. I _knew_ he was exhausted but I let him come anyways!”  Balin sighed at the statement, wanting to smack his King upside the head because he truly was a child.

 

            “Fili, you both have looked terrible for days. You need to learn how to take breaks, to spend time with one another! The entire Court has been off because of how discordant yours and Kili’s relationship has been lately! That’s why all this trouble just keeps on building. So the both of you are going to take the rest of the night off. I will hold Court for you, and the two of you will get some rest.”

 

            “But-“

 

            “No, Fili. Lay down with Kili, get some sleep and some well deserved rest. That is exactly what Naula will say. Now go to sleep.”

 

 

            Fili can’t even bring himself to argue with Balin, so he waits until his advisor is gone so he can strip Kili down besides his boxers so that his love will be more comfortable. He doesn’t even bother to strip himself down, just tugs the blankets over Kili before he slips into the bed, wrapping his arms around the brunet.

 

* * *

 

Everything is fuzzy and hazy once Fili wakes up, confusion swelling up as he feels a cold nose nuzzling up into his hair. The feeling of cold is so foreign against his skin that he finds himself instantly shooting up in the bed, warmth exuding from his skin. It’s only then that he remembers what had happened earlier, worried gaze looking down to see wide brown eyes looking up at him in confusion.

 

            “Fee? What happened?” Kili’s words are fuzzy with sleep and Fili hates himself because despite the extra sleep his little dove still looks completely exhausted.

 

            “You passed out, love. You’ve… well, I should say we, have been running ourselves ragged. Balin is going to watch over the Court for the rest of the day so we can get some rest and spend time with one another.”

 

            “Good. Miss you.”

 

Fond smile quirks his lips upwards as Kili wraps his arms around Fili’s waist, head resting in his lap. Fingers run through brown locks and he loves this, loves when Kili is soft and clingy and cuddly. If the little sighs of happiness coming from Kili’s lips are anything to go by, he would say that Kili was enjoying himself as well.

 

            “Can we take a bath Fee?”

 

            Full blown laugh escapes because he really shouldn’t be surprised; one of Kili’s favorite things to do was taking baths together, washing each others hair and bodies and splashing one another with warm water.

 

            “Whatever you want, dove.”

 

            Kili is instantly sitting up with a bright smile on his face, untangling himself from the blankets and heading for the bathroom. Fili can only shake his head in amusement, smile gracing his lips as he slowly gets up to follow Kili.

 

            By the time he gets into the bathroom, Kili already has the taps going, stripping out of his boxers and throwing them into the hamper. He’d have to be lying if he said that he wasn’t enjoying the view of Kili’s bum as he was undressing his own body. It was nice and pert, the smooth globes supple and oh so wonderful to grab onto, to just squeeze in his hands. A tinge of sadness seeps into his heart when he realizes that he isn’t even sure when he and Kili had last been intimate with one another. It’s something that he certainly plans on rectifying.

 

            “See something you like Fili?” Kili waggles his brows suggestively as he smiles, wiggling his hips in a teasing manner. Eyes narrow and Fili is instantly by Kili’s side, pulling the brunet flush up against him as his hands snake around to place a playful smack against a rounded cheek. Little meep escapes from his love as he jolts against him, smile gracing Fili’s lips as he moves to nip at Kili’s mouth. 

 

            Fili pulls away before Kili can even react, slipping into the warm water of the tub, sigh of pleasure breezing through the air as his muscles soak up the wonderful heat. Kili lets out a little huff as he glares at Fili, shoving him lightly before he slips into the tub himself, pressing his back against the blond’s chest. Strong arms wrap around Kili’s chest, Filis face nuzzling into the back of his hair as he smiles happily against it.

 

            “Hmm. Wash me Fee.”

 

It’s a quiet little command, one that the blond is all too happy to listen to. Unwrapping his arms from Kili, he reaches for a cloth and the body wash that Kili adores, the one that smells like “sunshine” as the brunet says. It only takes a few moments to soak the cloth and lather it up with soap, the heady scent perfuming the air. Kili waits idly, reaching his toes out to turn the water off, then moving back to wait for Fili .

 

            The first brush of the cloth is against his arms, soap being rubbed against the swells of his muscles. Fili’s fingers are just the right amount of gentle and strong, softly kneading and rubbing warm circles. It’s almost enough to put him to sleep, the mix of the warm water alongside the gentle caresses of the washcloth.  He’s in a pleasant state of warmth and haziness when he feels the blond’s fingers rubbing at one of his nipples through the cloth. The sudden friction against the sensitive buds makes him squeal, water sloshing in the tub as he goes to move in a gut reaction. Fili doesn’t let him though, just laughs as he continues to play with the little peaks.

 

            “Fee!” Kili whines his name and he adores the sound of it, fingers and cloth moving on to the other nipple to rub at it softly. His little dove is clutching onto the arm that he has wrapped around Kili’s chest, nails digging in as the brunet whimpers from the touches.

 

            “It’s alright Kili, I have you love.”

 

            Kili doesn’t say anything else, just lets out these little whimpers as Fili rubs and rubs and rubs, not stopping until those gorgeous buds have turned a lovely shade of red. The cloth sinks forgotten to the bottom of the tub, Fili moving to place both hands against Kili’s chest, pinching and tugging at sensitive nipples with the pads of his fingers. The brunet’s hands shoot out to grip at the sides of the tub as he starts to slip, breath coming in little pants that make Fili smile.

 

            “I- I should have known this was why you agreed to this,” Kili groaned, head tilting backwards to rest upon Fili’s shoulder.

 

            “This was just an added bonus, love.”

 

            Kili opens his mouth to reply but is cut off, Fili leaning forward to catch his mouth in a hard kiss. It was full of bites and nips, teeth dragging against skin then moving to clack together, lips moving roughly and Fili moans into the kiss, right hand moving to rub at Kili’s stomach because he can’t possibly keep his hands off now. All he can do is lick and bite at plush lips, emotions surging into the movement of their mouths, all of the pent up stress, the love and the worry, the lack of time together and it’s so electrifyingly _rough._

            “Wanna make you feel good Kee,” he gasps against Kili’s lips, teeth nipping gently at the line of his jaw. Fingers slip slide further into the tub against warm wet skin, slowly searching for the straining erection that Fili knows is there.

 

            “You- you don’t ha-have to- hah!” Kili whines as fingers grip his cock, slow, smooth strokes making his mouth drop open with low moans. Smile breaks out along Fili’s face, fingers moving teasingly slow against the heated flesh. Hips buck up slowly against the smooth slide of circled fingers, sharp gasps the only noise that can Kili can bring him self to make.

 

            “But I want to, love. I miss touching you like this. Miss the little whines you make, the way your breath hitches when I run my thumb over the slit of your cock. I miss _you._ ”

 

            His beautiful love whines at the words, hips bucking up hard and muscles contracting. Fingers are turning white from how hard Kili is clenching onto the sides of the tub, head thrown back and neck bared to Fili. The blond doesn’t hesitate to latch his mouth along the smooth column of flesh, sucking and biting hard enough to leave a mark. Fili times the movement of his hand with the thrusts of Kili’s hips, thumb rubbing at the sensitive frenulum with every upstroke.

 

            Meanwhile Kili can barely contain himself, heat building up in his belly and he’s going to orgasm so embarrassingly fast because it’s been so long since Fili has had the chance to touch him like this and it feels so good and he can’t bring himself to care anymore, just wants to chase the pleasurable bliss that is just out of his reach.

 

            “F-Fee p-please! So close, please!”

 

            He begs and pleads because he knows that Fili is teasing him, the blond knows exactly what to do to get him to come, to have him shooting everywhere and he just wants it so bad. Fili slips his other hand down and cups at Kili’s balls, massaging them gently in his hand as he moves his thumb to rub along the slit of Kili’s cock, swirling the digit round and round.

 

            Reaction is almost instant, Kili’s abdominal muscles clenching instantly, mouth opening on a harsh sob of pleasure and eyes squeezing shut as he feels electrifying heat surging through his body, water sloshing around as he reaches his climax. Throbbing length pulsates strings of come that turn into milky clouds within the water, Fili’s hands massaging his balls and cock to get out every last bit of come. It aches and throbs in all the right ways and everything feels so warm and _good_ like this.

 

            “Love you Fili, love you so much.”

 

            “As I love you, Kili.”

 

            Fingers tangle in hair as they kiss one another and Kili is so tired now, a pleasurable tired but tired all the less. He slumps against Fili and he makes a move to grab at Fili’s own semi-hard cock, but the blond stops him before he can reach it.

 

            “I’m fine. I wanted to do this for you, I don’t expect anything back, love.”

 

            “But-“

 

            “You’re tired Kili. You look so happy, relaxed and sated. That’s what I wanted for you, I don’t want it back. This is just about you, love.”

 

            Crooked little smile graces the brunets lips as he places a soft kiss against Fili’s lips.

 

            “All right then, my King. I suppose it’s time for you to carry me to bed then.”

 

            “Anything for you, love.”  


            It takes a little while, but eventually Fili manages to get them selves dried off, carrying a cuddly, naked Kili to the bed. Fond smile graces his lips when the brunet instantly goes over to the side table and grabs the hair brush resting on it, along with some hair ties. Kili passes them to Fili with wide pleading eyes.

 

            “Braid my hair?”

 

            “Alright, sit in front of me then.”

 

            So he sets in on brushing and braiding the long brown hair, fingers moving deftly and he knows that it’s going to get all messed up as soon as he’s done because they’ll be laying down again. But he doesn’t care because he’ll do anything that makes Kili happy, even if he had to steal the very stars from the sky. It’s all worth it to feel Kili sitting in front of him, relaxed and happy as he babbles about one thing or another, the blond putting in a comment or a hum of agreement when he can. It might not be the most exciting of evenings but Fili…

 

            Fili wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

* * *

Thanks for reading! Comments are always appreciated :) <3


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I filled this for Ogormanandturner on tumblr for a St. Patricks Day ask meme, and this is what came out of it. Enjoy, and Happy St. Patrick's Day! 
> 
> (I'm also slightly tipsy so sorry for any mistakes. Aha.)

It’s midsummer eve and the festivities have been going on all week in celebration of Summers highest point. The park outside of the Court has been transformed into a fantastic riot of colors and light. Tables are heavy with food and drink, fae dancing and swirling along the grass whilst pixies fly in and out of the crowds. Fireflies light up the darkening skies whilst roaring fires shoot sparks up into the air. Fire piskies play games with burning coals, fae children run around their elders, whilst others sit happily making crowns out of flowers.   
  
A group of satyrs play fiddles and flutes, nymphs banging on drums and everyone laughs and shouts with glee, smiles bright and eyes glittering. Revelry and joy soak through the Court, the sight of so much laughter and utter glee making Kili, Consort of Summer, smile wide with his own joy. He feels every pulse of happiness, every laugh and every feeling of excitement and  elation.   
  
It is such a time of celebration and joy that the Summer Court does not even mind the presence of Winter and Dark fae, hobgoblins and brownies chasing after lupine and goblins. Kobolds eye the food laden tables and sprites throw pieces at them, laughing when they manage to toss grapes and hunks of meat into the Dark faes open mouths.   
  
Kili watches their interactions with a small smile on his lips, heading towards the tables but stopping when he feels little hands grabbing at his clothes and fingers. Little Sidhe children look up at him with wide eyes, giggling boys and girls and he knows that at least three of them are from Pippin’s brood.   
  
“Kiwi! come with us!”   
  
Marigold, the youngest, has bright blond curls and wide green eyes, only 10 years of age. She tugs at his hand with a wide grin on her face, a gap in her smile where she has lost a baby tooth.   
  
“Have you a surprise, Marigold?” He smiles, looking down at the little girl. The rest of the children begin to chatter and shout, pulling Kili along towards a circle of children that are playing ring around the rosy. There are other children who sit around, working on even more flower crowns, weaving the stems carefully as their pink tongues stick out of their mouths.   
  
“We made you a cwon Kiwi!”   
  
He allows himself to pulled down onto the ground, all of the little fae crawling up around him, tugging gently on his hair and squishing themselves onto his lap. A few cling to his arms and he can’t help but to laugh, smiling as Marigold comes running with a flower crown in her little hands. It’s weaved of beautiful red and purple flowers, the sight making a pulse of love float through Kili’s entire being.   
  
“Are you sure this is for me to wear? It’s much to gorgeous to be put on me!” he feigns, smiling as they all protest and tug at him, shouting declarations of love and adoration that only make his heart swell even more.   
  
“It’s perfect for you Kili!” shouts one of the older boys, fingers curling into his hair to tug at a braid.   
  
“Can we put it on you Kiwi? Pwease!” Marigold shouts, throwing her arms around him and holding on as tight as she can.   
  
“Of course you can! The honor is all yours Marigold.”  
  
The little blond screeches with joy, holding the crown as she orders the rest of the children to pull out all of his braids, brown hair falling in waves around his face as she somehow manages to wait. As soon as the others are done, she is standing up and placing the flower crown onto his head, small squeal escaping her lips as she jumps up and down, hands clapping and curls bouncing.   
  
All of the surrounding children converge around him, wrapping little arms around his body before they are running away to play their games again, only Marigold staying behind. Kili stands up slowly, smiling down at her and adjusting his crown slightly to make sure it’ll stay put.   
  
“What are you waiting for my little flower? Arn’t you going to play with your friends?”  
  
“Fiwi was wooking for you ewier! He was funny and pwayed wing awound the wosy with us! He faws weally good!” She giggles, fingers tugging at his hand. Kili can’t help but to laugh at her words, knowing without a doubt that Fili must be well on his way to trashed by now.   
  
“Oh I’m sure he did! Fili is the ultimate ring around the rosy champion! But where are you leading me now, little flower?”  
  
“To Fiwi!”   
  
Kili hears Fili long before he sees the blond, loud laughter filling the air as he makes his way towards the center of the revelries. Marigold holds his hand tightly, giggling all the way as Kili tries to imagine in what state he will find his love.   
  
When they finally make their way through the crowds it’s to find that Fili is sitting at one of the many tables with Kelan, Legolas, Bilbo, Sam, and Frodo. Marigold wraps her arms around Kili’s legs before she scampers back into the crowds, little form disappearing in the blink of an eye.   
  
Shaking his head, Kili waits to walk over to the heavily intoxicated group. Fili is completely gone, cheeks bright red and hair a wild mess. There are flowers stuck all through out his braids, and Kili knows that the children had found the blond without a doubt. What really makes Kili smile is the fact that Fili has his arms firmly wrapped around Kelan as he shouts his love for his second in command.   
  
“Isn’t Kelan the best Legolas? C’mon, tell him! He’s the best! You’re the best Kel, the absolute!”   
  
Kelan cackles and smiles as he elbows Fili in the side, hugging his King tightly before he pats him gently on top of his head.   
  
“Oh Fili, you are quite hammered, aren’t you!”  
  
“Don’t be like that Kel! I looove youu!”   
  
The entire group roars with laughter, Bilbo managing to fall out of his seat and Sam spitting out a mouthful of ale. Legolas tries not to laugh but finally gives in after a minute, clutching his sides and Frodo has tears welling from the corners of his eyes because of how hard he is laughing. It takes a few more minutes for the group to calm down, Fili’s arms still wrapped around Kelan when Legolas finally notices that Kili is standing a few feet away, smiling.   
  
“Kili! Have a drink!”  
  
At the mention of his name, Fili is instantly unwinding himself form Kelan, bright smile on his face as brown and blue eyes meet. Kili can only chuckle, walking towards Fili as the blond absolutely glows with happiness and joy. He loves to see Fili like this, carefree and joyous.   
  
“Kee! What a pretty crown!”  
  
“Marigold made it for me,” Kili smiles, pulling up a chair up close so that he can sit beside Fili. As soon as he is seated, the blond is draping himself along his Consorts lap, one arm curling around his waist as the other reaches up to play with the ends of his hair.  Smiling down fondly, he runs fingers through tangled golden waves, moving on after a few moments to gently scratch at Fili’s scruff.   
  
“You’re going to put him to sleep like that, Kili,” Kelan smiles, watching blond lashes flutter as Fili huffs, grumbling something as he nuzzles closer to Kili. He can only bring himself to smile, other hand moving to rub at Fili’s belly with light strokes.   
  
“I know. He needs a little nap to sober up before tonight,” he smiles, petting Fili until he falls into sleep.   
  
“I still have no idea how you manage to put him to sleep like that. He’s like a little cat,” Legolas murmurs, watching Fili with a fond look.   
  
“It’s a talent, truly.”  
  
The group bursts into another round of laughter, subject soon being changed to funny stories of Fili in his childhood or when he was caught being a little trouble maker. All are tinged with softness and laughter, arms waving animatedly as they talk and drink.   
  
Kili is surrounded by warmth and smiles, laughter and good cheer.   
  
He wouldn’t trade it for anything. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a prompt fill for phoebe-artemis off of tumblr! It's also another for St. Patrick's day, so more drinking! The prompt for this chapter is sad drunk, and the character of choice is Kili. :) 
> 
> Sorry for any typos or misspellings etc.! Comments and Kudos are always appreciated, and thank you for reading!!! 
> 
> Have a great day! <3 <3

Kili spends most of his time in the Court, trying to learn how to be a good Consort and deal with his duties, as well as trying to spend time with Fili. It’s not often that he goes out, and when he does, it usually isn’t that far, maybe on a walk in the park or out to a the forest for some fresh air. Neither himself or Fili goes into the city all that often, the stink of metal and iron tangy on the back of their throats and the burning sensation accompanying it uncomfortable.

  
So Kili stays at Court in a constant state of always busy, never having any time to think about what his life has transformed into, never getting a chance to come to terms with it. He goes and goes and goes, learning politics, training to become a better fighter, learning how to interact with the Court, figuring out his glamour, dealing with unrest, trying to be diplomatic with Smaug, and then trying to carve out time to spend with Fili on top of it all.

  
There’s no time to think, no time to contemplate anything at all, just a constant movement that never seems to end. So really it’s only a matter of time before it all comes crashing down around him. A matter of time until he can’t take it anymore, needs to be able to think and to breathe because he is so smothered by everything that’s around him. So what does he do? He goes to the kitchens and takes a few bottles of wine, feigning to the head cook, Bombur, that he is surprising Fili later on in the night.

  
Instead he shoves the wine into a bag and sneaks out the back of the Court, trudging into the city because it will be less likely that anyone will look for him there. It doesn’t take long for the brunet to bring out a bottle of wine, pulling out the cork and taking a large swig. He continues on his way down the sidewalk, going towards the center of the city, wanting to be surrounded by bright lights and air that burns his lungs.

  
  
Cars trundle by and people shout and talk to one another, thick crowds walking along and pushing against one another; the plus side of it being a saturday night. The young and beautiful stand in winding lines, waiting to get inside to clubs with booming bass and lights that glow and pulse. Teenagers and adults walk in and out of a movie theatre and children hold on tightly to their parents hands. Kili submerges himself into all of it, walking and drinking, and before he knows it he has downed an entire bottle of wine. So he pulls out another, throws the empty one into a bin and continues to truck along, head swirling with intoxication.

  
  
He’s never been to a club before, never gone to a dance and never gone on a date to a movie. He’s never traveled around and he’s never been old enough to spend all night out on the town, living wild and free. And Kili knows that he is a Summer fae now, that he is immortal and he can run around being wild and free and drink as much as he likes, but it’s different now. He can’t show himself and go to the movies with Fili because people might recognize him and that would be bad. There’s no point in going to a bar where no one can see you, and the same goes for going to a club.

  
  
Before he knows it he’s hiccuping and laughing because he realizes that he’s sad and upset because he isn’t human anymore. He isn’t human, and he’ll never have a human life or human experiences. He’ll never have the future that he wanted, ever. Kili thought that he’d got past this, that he was happy and content and that he liked being a fae and that he didn’t mind the things that he had to give up. But part of him.. well part of him still resents it. Because he never got that chance to try and figure it out, to think it through before he was just thrown into everything.

  
  
So he’s sad and he’s upset and drunk, and he can tell that there are Dark Court fae lingering around, smiling as they feed off of his feelings of sadness. Usually Kili would be disgusted, angry at himself for allowing the Court to be able to find sustenance off of his negative feeling. But right now... well right now he could care less. The thing is, he doesn’t want to care at all. So he drinks some more, fingers grasping the neck of the bottle as he gulps the red liquid inside down.

  
  
  
He’s had so much so fast and his head is spinning, feet stumbling and his fingers trail along the walls of buildings that he walks beside. Shoulders bump against humans who spin and turn to search for the one who had so rudely walked into them. But they don’t see him. It makes Kili laugh,  hard dark laughter that builds up and catches in his throat, tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes as he finally comes to a stop, resting in a little alcove between two buildings. Once he sits he feels decidedly empty, head spinning and stomach churning. He comes to the conclusion in his inebriated state that if he wants to feel full, then he just needs to drink more alcohol.

  
  
When he goes to drink more of the wine, he gulps it down to fast, throat closing up as he coughs and chokes, red dripping from the corners of his lips as he blindly sets the bottle down. He doesn’t want to be like this, doesn’t want to be the depressed sod who sits around in the bowels of the city, desperately trying to figure out who exactly he is anymore.

  
  
It doesn’t take long for him to break down into tears, the bottle crashing to the ground and splitting into brilliant shards. There’s a sea of glass on the pavement and an ocean of tears welling in his eyes, ones that slowly slip out of the corners, and once he starts he can’t stop, no matter how hard he tries to. Hands clap over his mouth as sobs start to shake through him, moving through his chest and past his lips, tears spilling out and he can’t stop for the life of him, he just can’t.

  
Knees slowly pull up until he has his arms wrapped around them, face buried into his knees and tears splashing onto the fabric of his pants, harsh sobs pouring out of his mouth. Kili feels lightheaded and dizzy and he shouldn’t have drank that much but he just couldn’t help it and now he can’t think. Everything spins even though he has his eyes firmly shut and he can’t bring himself to look around because if he does the bright lights will blind him, make his head fuzzy and even more blurred than before.

  
  
“Kili!?”

  
  
He gasps at the familiar call of his name, heart clenching because he thought that he’d have more time before anyone would find him, and he’s an absolute mess right now. Any time he had has gone and dwindled away, and he doesn’t bother to look up, just tries to hold back the sobs but he can’t. His fingers dig into the meat of his muscles, ache spreading through his skin but he can’t bring himself to care, not one bit. Tears continue to drip and he jumps when he feels a hand settle on his back.

  
  
“You have Fili and everyone else worried sick Kili,” Kelan murmurs, hand rubbing gently at his back. All it does is cause another harsh sob to escape his lips, more tears leaking out and he can feel Kelan fluttering around him, trying to figure out what to do. He can feel how lost Kelan is, how he feels sad and sick and it makes it all that much worse for Kili.

  
“Kelan! You found him!” He hears Legolas’ shout, the sound of his feet running along the pavement.

  
“Yes, I did. Go and find Fili and let him know that I have him. I’m going to bring him back to the Court.”

  
“Are you sure? Fili said that-“

  
“I know what Fili said. Just go tell him. I’ll have Kili back.”

  
  
“Oh, that’s all fine for you to say, but we both know that it is me, the messenger, that’s going to get the absolute shit taken out of me,” Legolas grumbles.

  
“I’ll owe you, alright? So go,” Kelan growls, still rubbing at Kili’s back.

  
  
It’s a few more minutes before Kelan speaks again, hand stilling as he sits beside the Consort of his King, wrapping an arm around shaking shoulders and tugging at Kili gently.

  
“Lets walk back, alright? We’ll take the long way. It’ll give Fili a chance to cool down and for you to collect yourself.”

  
  
Kili doesn’t say anything, but allows himself to be pulled up into a standing position. When he opens his eyes, everything is bleary, tears still streaking down his cheeks, fingers moving to swipe away at the wetness that has collected. Kelan doesn’t say anything, just links his arm through one of Kili’s before he begins to lead the way back to Court.

  
  
“How drunk are you right now?”

  
“Dunno. My heads spinning?”

  
Kelan goes to say something but stops when Kili starts to stumble, feet getting caught in a hole in the pavement, fingers clenching against Kelans arm as he makes a little squeaking sound.

  
“So pretty drunk,” Kelan sighs as he keeps Kili upright.

  
“Mhm.”

  
“I’m surprised you made away with that much wine. Bombur’s usually pretty strict about how much anyone can take.”

  
“I know you already know what happened with all that. You were probably with Fili when he was questioning Bombur about where I went, so you don’t have to try to ease me into conversation,” Kili grumbles the words, huffing as he hears Kelan chuckle.

  
“Alright, I was. I hope you know that you’re not going to hear the end of this for quite some time. Fili completely lost it when he realized that no one knew where you were. Plus the fact that no one saw you leave, or where you went, or why none of your guard had managed to notice you slipping away.”

  
Part of Kili feels guilty, knows that hes made a mess of things. But he’s so drunk right now that he can’t exactly care, his thoughts floating around his head freely. It’s so very hard for him to try to catch and hold onto them.

  
“Think he’ll be less upset if he sees I’ve been crying?”

  
Kelan snorts at the question, small smile forming at the corner of his lips as he looks at Kili.

  
“You and I both know that as soon as he sees tears he’ll turn into a little softie. He always does for you.”

  
“Even though I ran away from home without my guard and got fantastically drunk in the middle of the city?”

  
“Well.. okay, he’ll still be upset. But it won’t be as bad. I’m sure there won’t be any yelling?”

  
Kili grumbles but he knows that he’ll deserve it if Fili does yell at him. After everything that had happened the past few months, he understood completely as to why Fili was so afraid of him going out alone. Hell, he was afraid of it himself, but he’d been so done with everything that he hadn’t been able to bring himself to care.

  
“How long have all of you been looking for me?”

  
“Three hours, give or take? It took us about twenty minutes to realize that you weren’t where you were supposed to be, then we started searching the Court.”

  
He can’t help but to freeze completely at that, stomach twisting into knots as he looks at Kelan with wide eyes and an open mouth.

  
“I was gone for that long?!” He manages to squeak. Kelan just looks at him with his own wide confused eyes, blinking at Kili like he’s crazy.

  
“How long did you think you were out for?”

  
“I don’t know? An hour? Oh god he’s going to kill me!! Kelan you can’t bring me back! We need to run away! Far away where no one will find me!” He’s being melodramatic and super whiny but he doesn’t even care. He’s upset and sad, dammit!

  
“I’m sure it won’t be that bad Kee. He’ll be upset for a bit but you’ll figure things out. The both of you always do.”

  
Kili doesn’t say anything else for the remainder of the time, trudging along by Kelans side and trying not to think about how angry Fili is going to be at him. His love has a wicked temper, one that he will certainly feel the wrath of. So he doesn’t bother to say anything else to Kelan, just trudges along until they reach the Court a good twenty minutes later.

  
They enter through the back, Kelan mentioning how Fili would be more likely to be at the front of the Court. This would buy him some time to mentally prepare himself. It’ll probably just annoy Fili that much more, but at this point Kili doesn’t think that it really matters.

  
Winding their way through the halls, they’re about to enter the long corridor that leads towards Fili and Kili’s rooms when he sees familiar golden hair. Kili is so shocked and unprepared that he lets out a little squeak, hiding behind Kelan as he sees Fili freeze and turn towards the two. He gets a glimpse of angry blue eyes and bared teeth, a burst of heat and he is clutching onto Kelan for dear life.

  
“Kili, I am not going to be your meat shield! And Fili, just calm down, okay, he’s fine, he-“

  
“I think it’s best you leave, Kelan, I’ll deal with you later.”

  
Fili doesn’t even give him a single glance before he’s grabbing Kili’s hand, pulling him along down the hallway and all he can do is meekly follow because Fili is a bit more pissed off than he had anticipated. Thankfully he waits until they get to their rooms to lay into him, slamming the door shut before he is settling his burning blue gaze onto him.

  
“What the hell were you thinking!?”

  
“I wasn’t.”

  
It’s silent.

  
“That’s it? That’s all you have? You decided to put yourself into danger because you couldn’t take a damn second to think? You stole wine so you could get trashed wandering all alone in the city?!”

  
“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying, alright!? I was upset and I was sad so I got the wine and I got trashed and I bawled my eyes out on the street! Because that’s what people do, that’s what I do when I can’t handle things! I get self destructive and I’m sorry, okay? I won’t do it again.”

  
Fili rubs at his temples, eyes still full of anger but at least he’s not yelling anymore, at least he’s not throwing off waves of heat. And Kili is just tired, so very tired and he doesn’t even feel drunk anymore, emotions sobering him up far to quickly.

  
“Kili, you can’t do that to me. You can’t.. you can’t scare me like that. Not after everything we’ve been through the past few months,” Fili murmurs, all of the anger draining out of him with those words. Kili can’t bring himself to say anything for a moment, guilt eating him alive.

  
“Nothing bad happened Fee. So don’t be upset, please? I just, I was dumb. I was sad and upset and everything got to me, and I just.. I miss being human sometimes. All of this is really overwhelming and I just get upset because I.. I wish that I could have lived the life that I wanted before all of this happened. And I don’t want you to be mad at me but sometimes I have a hard time reconciling the fact that I’m not ever going to have that life.”

  
His words only serve to make Fili look even more miserable, shoulders slumped and eyes plunged in sadness. He doesn’t want Fili to be sad, doesn’t want either of them to be sad really. So instead of trying to say anything or waiting for Fili to, he walks over to the blond, wraps his arms around him and holds him as tight as he can.

  
“I love you Fee. I love you so much, and I love being your Consort, and I love this Court. Sometimes I just.. I miss the simplicity of being human, of just being able to live for myself. But It’s okay because I love this more than that, I do.”

  
Fili still doesn’t say anything, but he at least wraps his arms around Kili, nuzzles into his neck and breathes in deeply. It’s almost scary, the way his sadness slips away when he has Fili’s arms wrapped around him, the warmth and smell and it’s just so comforting. How can he possibly be sad when he has someone who loves and cares for him so much in his arms?

  
“I’m sorry I took that away from you. The life you wanted, I mean.”

  
“Don’t apologize Fee. I chose this, remember? I wanted this, and I wouldn’t trade you or the Court for anything. I just had a bit of an emotional breakdown, and instead of talking about it I ran away. So please don’t be upset? I’m not hurt, everyone is okay, so all you have to do is stop being sad and everything will be fine.”

  
Fili nuzzles his face into Kili’s neck before he pulls back and places a soft kiss onto the brunets cheek. He looks exhausted, but at least those blue aren’t filled with sadness anymore. Just a quiet feelings and Kili can deal with that, he can work with it and make things better.

  
“I love you Kili. You make me worry like hell, but I love you,” Fili sighs, running his fingers through Kili’s hair, letting a small smile grace his lips.

  
“I’m very lovable when it comes down to it.”

  
Fili throws his head back and laughs loudly, brightness finding it’s way back into his eyes and wide smile gracing his face. He feels a smile splitting across his own at the sight, lunging towards the blond and wrapping his arms around him once again.

  
“Time for bed?”

  
“Time for bed.” 

 


End file.
